Tuesday January 9 2007 depart into white [ ] It was a one way ticket to old town Sipitang, A sense of my belonging runs a little deeper today as it echo amidst quite a sacrecrow of a morning. Probably, the rainclouds knew where to throw their partial gaze over the vast plains of earth we covered. Engine, Road and gravel. Here comes the morning from which it quite.. erupted into a brief skirmish of tones. Maybe its just stubborness wearing the stiffness it always had, but almost always at the wrong places. Couldnt imagine when really was the last time i threw missiles but even so rather subtly...but i i only quite do that when the pressure was just too much to take. This simple pail couldnt hold much water any longer i suppose, even if holding it back already seemed wrong at the first place. Not that it was intended, but a gentle reminder turn-turtle. Anger and love, Nonchalance and Commitment, dwells in the same heart. A steely sense of the word settles in this beetle of a Naza as it makes headfirst away from Kota Kinabalu- still half awake from the bbq hangover party towards countdown haha. So its the 1st January 2007. Much of a year has passed away into yesterday.. remnants of yesteryears still are on the dazed faces of those who remembered seeing the clock past twelve, while some happen to wake up the next morning probably looking very bewildered while sporting the coolest haircut of the year. Ironically, as beautiful as it is... from now onwards everyone would be scribbling the dates as 1/1/07, '007 ' as in James Bond persay... or perhaps 7/7/07 should be a day im looking forward to. This Road would be.. more or less like a river i thought, its harder going upstream in a sense that it does feel you are spending more time going to a particular place than returning from it. Its slower going to but its faster going back. Throughout the journey, why does it suck feeling that youre the only one who is willing to go all out even if wont have the slghtest clue you'd fall into these traps you're only warned but not equipped with the solution on how to get across. Just how would it help recycling and presenting this history to the rest of the world ? It has enough skepticism to drown anyone in it, and once it has finished making you look pathetic having to look for that someone to lean against, you will realise how ugly things can really get. As a person, when i do things .. really i am in no favour of taking but instead to give. It opens a door to your heart to see people smile graciously from your actions - As much as it touches their lives it settles in yours in a way you cant describe, it breathes life into your thinking and gives a greater meaning in your life than pondering over the tommorow you dont know about, it gives a much wider arena to think-tank paving the way to an immense value of experience and knowledge. Im tired of listening to complaints about how it cant be done, im REALLY tired of listening about how dangerous the world out there really is and the 1001 ways the world can make you scream your lungs out and about how your eyes can narrow in fear thinking of the consequences without any resolve or solution to condemn the word 'problem' into exile. I' m interested in the problem and the clear headed solution to solve it. I know, how i always get ignored for voicing my suggestions or opinion and no matter how rationalistic or systematic i try to make them be, some would rather feel it hardly measure any importance at all. Oh Yes, just sweep it under the carpet and pretend nothing happened, switch the switches and ignore me.. go headfirst and complain about how a much more crazy world we are living in. But i've accepted him the way he is i guess, theres quite enough dress rehearsals and tests to put up with while i graciously remind myself how fortunate i was to be granted bucketloads of patience . Four wheels kissing the tarmac under an expansion of white and shining.

Friday December 29 2006 Cauldron [ ] A whole weight seemed to be lifted off this very shoulders. A sheer mass of sea, carried upon the back of an evening as it slides into its compound- An eternal ocean tracing the sunset. Where Once upon a time a momentum reclines in a shadow. Await the chapters, i try to find solace wherever the winds have picked up a rythm. And there i will go with a luggage at hand , in a large airship into sea. Set sail , steer into a darkened garden. Partial shades awake. Alight, deeper into the highest tree . The gnarled flames leap towards my eyes, it can burn , it can blind. So , Hide deeper inside. Nonetheless the overseer watches over. In this longest day, an evening is soon undone. Sunset forlorn, burning in the crescent, a deeper shade of blueness really are the dignitaries to indigo as she embraces all of me. Amidst the arm of a storm finds a tense second alive. Expect the unexpected certain trajectories in life are left unpertubed due to the consequence of a dead end. Most of the times you wont see me traversing upon the same mouthpiece as much of the rest only because the gnarling stem into the deep wilderness are reminiscent of the hundred and one things within me . You wont see me in spirit but can feel my presence inside the bone and nerve of the ever watchful, their gaze left upon an open sky. Escaping light and deeper it skids around the water's edge in a ventilating window. Harsh as it may seems, this haunting memory into winter. A puzzle unresolved is yet a piece in eternal wonder, unlock into another. Find yourself beneath a night sky with holes punched in it, are stars in highest heaven, Reach us as light spills into the embrace. I still Love it here.

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